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Why Self-Responsibility Is So Healing

I have empathy for the frustration we feel when we want something we don’t have yet.

I was out there dating for a LONG time. Meeting lots of different men and having lots of different experiences. My heart got hurt too.

The struggle is real in dating and relationships, especially now, and I celebrate women who still keep their hearts open and stay hopeful despite the struggle.

In the struggle what I’m unable to support is:

  • blaming

  • shaming

  • finger-pointing and

  • lack of self-responsibility

. a persons love life.


It can sound like:

“I don’t pick the wrong ones, the wrong ones pick me.

“Men are dogs, they only want one thing.”

“You slept with me and now you don’t want a relationship with me.”

“All the good ones are taken.”


We must enter dating and relationships as adults. If you can’t do that, meaning you show up emotionally as a child doing or saying any of the above, then it is my opinion your love life will be painful.


If you make the decision to date and get to know someone romantically, I think you’ve also got to do the adult work of looking at how you may have contributed to any negative experiences you are having.


We are always calling in experiences to help us grow and the magic lies in that self-discovery. Even when it hurts.

When it comes to dating and relationship struggles the only way out is in.

For anyone who can’t stand looking deeper at herself through the reflections of others and her painful experiences it’s easy to just avoid it with blame, shame, judgement and projection onto others.

There is heart healing in taking responsibility.

Self-responsibility can heal by showing you where you may have missed making a certain important communication, setting a certain boundary or missing a red flag.

All of this information is in service to your self-worth, self-care and growth.

Because that is what I think is at the core of all of this:

Your ownership and other people’s freedom in your mind which leads YOUR freedom and peace of mind. More in comments.




Women's Mentor @womencanheal


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