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What to Remember When You Doubt You'll Ever Find Someone pt. 6

(6) Finally always remember you are complete and if it feels like there’s a gap you always have the power to fill it

EXAMPLE: When I started my journey of inner work one of the first things I learned was that I had to change how I thought about myself. "I deserve love." I am enough." "I am whole and complete." So I'd make time each morning after waking up to talk to myself nicely in hopes that it would shift something. I would recite affirmations in the mirror daily and I'd cry every time. Or I'd say it was stupid. Or I'd feel like an idiot. Why? Because my subconscious mind wasn't yet on board with these loving, self-affirming beliefs. In short, I subconsciously thought I was missing something and incomplete by being single. And how did this subconscious belief that I'm incomplete manifest itself? Well, I chased unavailable people and ran away from the available ones. It was confusing and painful.

HEALING: Your subconscious mind has an extraordinary power to shape your life experience. You can say affirmations until you are blue in the face but if deep down you haven't rewritten some of those icky beliefs about yourself hiding in your blindspots you're going to keep repeating patterns and having the same icky experiences in your love life. There are many ways to illuminate and rewrite buried subconscious beliefs like "I'm not enough" or "I'm incomplete." Some teachers had me gather evidence about what I actually like about not being enough, discovering the pay off and fully approving of it so I can let it go. Some teachers have had me write out 100 counter arguments to the limiting belief. What I have discovered to be the best way for me is by filling the gap between my conscious and subconscious mind is by taking action on esteeming myself.

🌿LESSON: One of my favorite quotes is, "We gain self-esteem by doing esteemable acts." Feeling whole and complete as a longtime single person is a matter of building your self-esteem. Build yours up by doing good things for yourself and other people.


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