What to Remember When You Doubt You'll Ever Find Someone pt. 1

(1) Remember your time alone right now is a time for you to meet yourself

EXAMPLE: Starting at a young age I always had a crush, someone I was dating or someone I was in a relationship with. I was a serial dater. I didn't realize this at the time but I was TERRIFIED of meeting with myself. Why? I struggled with self-esteem and early on I felt the most worthy when I was bonded with someone. So I spent my time pursuing love or being in love. This pattern became a problem for me as I got older because this blocked me from really knowing myself. When I'd break up with someone I’d be overwhelmed with the anxiety of being with myself. I couldn't take it. So I'd quickly find the next person to pursue and I never gave myself the time to know who Michele really was and what she might have been avoiding by chronically pursuing love.

HEALING: I remember when I finally broke this pattern and let myself be alone. It was after another difficult break up and the idea of getting back out there was simply exhausting. This was a pivotal moment because being intentional about being alone to get to know myself allowed me to let all the difficult feelings I was avoiding come to the surface. Inside that experience I met myself. I met my fear of rejection. I met my feelings of low self-worth without someone to pursue. And I met so much more. It was hard but on the other side of it I met me: the woman who’s worthy with or without a relationship

LESSON: When you feel down about being alone remember you have an opportunity to really get to know parts of yourself you might have been avoiding. Take yourself on a nature walk, meditate, practice yoga, and relax into the feelings. I promise they won't kill you. Go through it and meet yourself on the other side.