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The Stories We Tell Ourselves

  • Nov 16, 2019
  • 2 min read

Updated: Nov 14, 2020

I used to tell myself a little story that I wasn’t looking for anything serious. That keeping things casual, light and non-committal would get me what I wanted: a relationship Here’s the problem. This little story created big impact for me. See I’m not a casual, light or non-committal woman. Never have been. I’m intense. I’m loyal. I’m loving. I have deep emotions and a big heart and have always craved sharing my authentic self with other people. This is what intimacy is to me. This kind of intimacy needed a safe place to grow and I couldn’t create the intimacy I wanted by lying to myself right out of the gate. Intimacy can certainly develop in many different types and forms of relationship. But the kind I wanted I needed to get honest with myself first. I was looking for something serious. Owning that truth was scary and powerful. It meant releasing ongoing ties that were both toxic and comfortable. It meant breaking secret agreements AKA we don’t talk about “us”. It meant defining the property lines of my heart. It meant being ok with being alone for a bit. It meant coming into alignment and embodying my authentic self. I became more intimate with myself. If you’ve been following my work you probably already understand that you must be intimate with yourself before you can intimate with anyone else. This however is much harder as a practice than it is as a theory. For real transformation to occur I think we need 4 things: 1. A new concept or practice to take you from point A to B 2. Someone to teach you or reteach you the new concept or practice 3. A container of space and time during which you commit yourself to transformation 4. Community and like minded people doing the same to support you along the way Date With Depth: How to Find Love Without Losing Yourself is designed to be that vehicle for transformation for you.

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