It’s been so wonderful to go in depth on each of the 5 ways I think we heal while dating/looking for longterm committed relationships. Here's the last one in this post series.
(5) Healing your limiting beliefs by shifting from "No one wants me, I'm tainted." to "I love my life and myself unconditionally and this is my time of preparation."
EXAMPLE: I remember at around 32 when I started getting whisperings (from inside) about my age and relationship status. I was starting to see my friends move forward in their committed relationships and three insecurities were getting bigger and bigger. The first was feeling like failure. Confronted by feelings of confusion and frustration having made A LOT OF EFFORT in dating and not yet landing in a relationships and believing "I'm doing it wrong." The second was feeling time scarce. Pressured about not being "on schedule" believing "I'm running out of time to have love, partnership, marriage and a family." The third was a fear of missing out. Distressed about missing out on major life milestones by my prolonged singlehood and being unmarried after 30 and believing "What I long for is better than what I have now." My insecurities and subsequent limiting beliefs took a toll on me.
HEALING: The most healing thing I did for myself was shift my thinking around my current dating situation. To courageously engage with the fears running me and driving my negative thinking about myself and my life. First I had to tackle the fear of failure, being tainted and ending up alone forever and in doing got present to just how bad ass I was AND wonderful my life was as is. I starting believing "I love my life and myself unconditionally." Then I got to work on my fear of running out of time and missing out.
It took stepping into trust that something coming in my life. Maybe it wouldn't look like what I thought but I believed in it and was preparing my mind, body and spirit for it.
LESSON: Dating is a perfect mirror for you allowing you to see any false and limiting beliefs in you that you can take action on healing.