How to Heal While Dating pt. 3

I want to continue this conversation about the ways we can heal while we're in the process of seeking committed relationships.

(3) Transforming yourself for the better by embodying the qualities you seek in a partner

EXAMPLE: For the longest time I wanted so much to meet a "quality" person. I wanted them to be mature, emotionally intelligent, attractive, healthy, honest, funny and affectionate. I had a very long list. The most important thing I was looking for was an overall sense of health and stability with a partner. I remember many painful dating experiences where I parted ways with people who I felt deep down preferred partying and freedom over health and settling down with me. What was more painful is that I kept finding myself with this same type of person over and over again despite my best efforts to find a healthy and stable person.

HEALING: Remember Michael Jackson's song about the man in the mirror? I had a BIG moment of clarity that was so healing and rewarding for me when I figuratively looked at my own reflection and realized I didn't embody health or stability myself. I had my own unhealthy relationship to alcohol that I hadn't admitted to. My finances were a mess. I was emotionally immature. I would run from people who tried to make themselves available to me in dating. That moment of clarity changed everything because I realized that in order to attract the qualities I want I MUST have those qualities myself. So I got to work on my self-exploration and attaining the characteristics I felt I was missing and also wanted in a partner. It wasn't easy. I had to get real and do an overhaul on my life. In doing so I began to embody health and stability and I'm happy to say I did find a man who embodies this as well. It works.

LESSON: You are what you attract. It's healing and rewarding to go inward and become what you seek.

Love,

Michele

Women's Mentor @womencanheal