Today let's talk about the next way I think you can heal while you are dating and seeking committed relationship.
(2) Defining and affirming your self-worth by walking away from people who fall outside your core values
EXAMPLE: I had a relationship in my early 20s. I met him when I was out and went home with him that same night. I knew I wanted a relationship and after being physical with him so quickly I convinced myself that relationship was out of the question. However, we did develop a relationship and it broke this belief I had that it was impossible to develop a relationship with someone after getting physical with them early on. Because I had unresolved issues inside me I got SUPER attached to this person. Even when it was clear the relationship wasn't healthy and he wanted to end it I couldn't let go. Even when he broke it off the relationships I continued to make myself available to him physical. It was so painful.
HEALING: It wasn't until he broke off our casual no strings attached situation did I realize my behavior was rooted in low self-worth and fear of abandonment. I didn't believe I deserved the committed relationship I wanted and I was too afraid to walk away from this and step into the unknown. This could have been yet another opportunity to hold on because, if I'm completely honest, I was very convincing when it came to getting him to continue our causal thing. But I didn't this time. I walked away for good. Something had finally shifted. I realized I can no longer make myself available to things that are longterm AND non-committal. That this kind of dating and relationships fell outside my core value (committed relationships). It was so healing to claim this for myself. It affirmed my self-worth immensely and was the start of a beautiful journey of becoming the woman who could have what she has now.
LESSON: You are worthy. Period. For some of us it’s ridiculously hard to remember so we must to take actions in dating and relationships to affirm it.
Love,
Michele
Women's Mentor @womencanheal
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