A vulnerable share about a race joke and healing in action. Last night someone close to me made a comment about the color of something I was holding being black and me being black. They said it was a joke. I care about this person and know deep down there wasn’t anything violent or malicious about the joke. Still it impacted me. I immediately felt myself disassemble inside into different parts. The part of me that rebels against any perceived superiority or feeling of being looked down upon felt angry and wanted to yell. The part of me who I call my woman felt protective and present said, “I didn’t like that comment you made.” Then a very young part of myself felt embarrassed, sad and afraid and wanted to hide. I went to school and lived in a predominately white neighborhood growing up. When I was a little girl I used to shrink a inside when a kid at school spoke to me looking different. I’ve had countless experiences with comments, jokes and directed anger about my race. This embarrassed, sad and afraid feeling was familiar me. An Achilles heel is that tendon that connects your leg to your foot. If your Achilles heel is hurt or torn, it can leave you with pain and an inability to move like you used to. We also have emotional Achilles heels. Emotional injuries (healed or not) that when touched, aggravated or reinjured can leave us in pain with an inability to move. A few include:
• Fear of the unknown • Being ignored, not mattering • Feeling left out or rejected • Abandonment • Fear of not being good enough Awareness is one of the 5 levels of healing I take my clients through in our work together. The more Awareness you have of what your emotional injuries are from your past the more power you have to heal it. So today I’m in Awareness bringing awareness to a young part of me who feels othered and wants to belong. She needs attention today. So I’m going listen to her, I’m going to feel her feelings. I’m going to ask her what she needs. I’m going to tell her I’ve got her back. This is my healing in action.