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An Independent Woman

I used to feel really bad about not having a relationship but at the same time considered myself an independent woman. When I turned 30 I took to dating guides to study and learn how to master finding a boyfriend. By age 32, I had read countless articles and books. I was also trying out all my tips and trick on new men I'd meet. Spoiler alert. None of it really worked. One of the books I read was Date Like a Man: What Men Know About Dating and Are Afraid You'll Find Out. I chuckle to myself reading this title knowing what I now know about attracting love and relationship. I support women in being independent and I know this word means a lot of different things to different people. Independent to me means resourceful and emotionally secure. Here are some characteristics the book describes independent women have. I actually really liked this part when I first read it. Today I am vehemently opposed to dating a someone my friends don’t like. I think it sabotages one of the key components of attracting healthy love.

That component being having an honest, caring and reflective support network while you do the unpredictable and vulnerable work in searching for love. I don't believe we are meant to manage life alone. This includes heartbreak, loneliness, grief and fear as well as joy, excitement and hope. I think we all need support (friends, family, communities) with these life experiences with compassion. This comes with a caveat. We are responsible for surrounding ourselves with honest, authentic and caring people who we feel we can share our values and desires with so they can tell us when we are off our big vision and purpose. Thankfully I chose people like this and they loved me fiercely when I tried rationalizing my way back into an unhealthy dating situation. I'm curious what your thoughts are on this? Do you take advice, thoughts concerns from your friends, family, community in your dating life?


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