Life is a process of forgetting and remembering who we are and what we are made of. Over the last 3 years I’m learning mine and other’s true nature is love. Each year of sobriety feels like another layer sheds that gets me closer to my true nature. My true self. 0-1 year was about facing life. For so long I had lied to myself that I was just having fun but the truth was I was avoiding my life. It was a lot of unraveling and letting old structures outside of myself crumble as I faced life without drinking. At times it was awful. It was like being in a dark room and then someone turning on fluorescent lights. You really want to shield your eyes, it hurts to open your eyes and everything looks disoriented. I looked though. I faced my life and got honest about what I saw. 1-2 years was about facing myself. I rediscovered my feelings. Now with nothing to help me avoid them I could start to feel my backed up and unprocessed feelings. Had a lot of resources and people to help me through this year helping me let go and access true love for myself. 2-3 years has been about DEEP self-inquiry. I’ve been learning about myself. With a solid foundation of self-love I began the difficult task of unpacking my past and my present behaviors that were causing pain in my life. It’s been about identifying behaviors I thought were serving or protecting me and discovering how they were actually harming myself and others. I’ve been learning different ways of approaching the world that create connection, generate power and maintain integrity. What more can I say? I’m just so grateful. I never ever imagined my life the way it is now 3 years ago. I have so many people to thank who love and believe in me. Thank you and I hope you know who you are! I’m going to keep growing and going and sharing the journey.
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