How To Be Skillful With Your Emotions

I started working with a somatic therapist about a month ago.

I’m honestly I’m having the best time ever.

Let me explain.

I used to have this idea of trauma therapy as this incredibly painful experience that had the potential to annihilate me.

That the pain would be too much to bear.

That I would lose myself in the emotions.

That I might have a nervous breakdown and never “come back”.

So far none of my fears have come true.

There is pain. But I’m learning as I share my painful memories healing is happening. Because, as I’m starting to understand more and more healing happens when we share our stories.

Today in my session I heard something that I really liked that got me thinking about the work I am doing here.

“How skillful you are with you are with your emotions has the BIGGEST impact on your relationships.”

I couldn’t agree more.

And for about 34 years I had NO IDEA what to do with my emotions.

As a young girl I used food and TV to not feel.

As a teen I used crushes and fixations with boys at school to not feel.

As a young woman at college I added alcohol which took my not feeling to a whole new level.

As an older woman before I got sober primary modes of not feeling were starting to take a major toll on me.

When I finally hit that bottom (meaning I exhausted all resources to not feel my emotions and I finally saw the harm I was doing myself) rolled up my sleeves and opened myself up to finally feeling.

I'd love to tell you that is where the story ends.

But of course it's not.

The next step was learning to be SKILLFUL with my emotions because I felt like I was this raw exposed nerve and if anyone even breathed in my direction on it I'd explode on them.

So the healing and learning continues and I have an amazing practice partner. In my relationship I get to practice feeling, assessing my emotions, separating them from throughs, validating myself, expressing my emotions in healthy ways.

The more skillful I get with my emotions the more SAFE I make the relationship.

The more safe the relationship is the more the relationships thrives.

Love,

Michele

Women's Mentor @womencanheal