First let me say this is in no way implying that you are hard to love.
This series was inspired by an answer to a question I had about inner work we can do to make it easier for others to be in healthy relationships with us.
Here's a quick overview for you today and check out my guides for the full series where I go in depth:
(1) ESTEEM YOURSELF FIRST
It’s natural for us to doubt ourselves occasionally but low self-esteem in our love lives can leave us feeling insecure and emotionally dependent. Esteem yourself first. When you learn to see yourself as good (worthy) you can let go of trying to get love and attention from people and things to define your worth.
(2) TAKE RESPONSIBILITY
The world is a mirror and romantic partners and relationship are part of that. This means that with every seemingly negative experience you have in dating, you have the power to stop blaming (which is unhealthy relating) look inward at how the person or situation may be reflecting something about you back to you.
(3) FIND YOUR EMOTIONAL BLIND SPOTS
While it is natural to want to recoil from negative emotions, each of us tends to have one particular negative emotion that we especially dislike and try to avoid. Learning to tolerate the discomfort of our emotions can unlock a wealth of insight about ourselves and how we can show up in healthy ways in our love lives. But only if we’re willing to look.
(4) PRESERVE YOURSELF
By committing to your self-preservation (boundaries and self-care) it makes it easy for others to love us. We don't need to be rescued by them and we can ask for attention, help and support knowing we can first give it to ourselves first.
(5) BUILD COMMUNITY
Doing this thing called life is hard to do alone. Develop safe emotional connections with people outside of your romantic ones and build a support system. You can share your struggles, receive empathy or guidance and remember you aren't alone